SJ DESCH, MS, LPC-IT (THEY/SHE)
Trans Affirming Nonbinary Therapist in Wisconsin
Are you experiencing a lot of anxiety about sex? Do you want to have pleasurable, stress-free sexual connections, but you just can’t seem to make that happen?
Are you trans or queer and struggling with the coming out process? Is our homophobic and transphobic culture just too much for you to handle right now, and you’re sick of feeling ashamed of who you are?
You don’t have to navigate all of this alone. I offer a warm, collaborative, and affirming space where you can explore your experiences without judgment.
I specialize in sex therapy and LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy. Working with ages 14 and up, I help LGBTQIA+ and gender diverse clients navigate identity, sexuality, and grief. In a sex-positive, kink-allied, and affirming space, I work with individuals and couples exploring non-monogamy, healing from sexual trauma or pain, facing arousal or libido issues, and support those who are tackling cultural or family narratives that no longer serve them.
Initial 15-minute phone call costs $25. This $25 fee will be applied to your first session if you choose to schedule.
Initial 15-minute phone call costs $25. This $25 fee will be applied to your first session if you choose to schedule.
Are you tired of working with therapists who just don’t understand the trans experience or who aren’t actually educated about alternative sexual practices? I’m here for you, and I actually get it.
Let’s work together to detangle all of the thoughts and worries and forge a path forward that is authentic for you. I work with trans and queer teens and their families in addition to individuals and couples.
Outside of session, I find joy in practicing yoga, playing volleyball, reading, cooking with my partner, and spending time outdoors. These hobbies help me stay grounded and connected, values I bring into the work by helping clients connect with what feels meaningful and restorative in their own lives.
My Credentials
- Bachelor of Arts, University of Wisconsin–Madison, 2020
- Master of Science, Educational Psychology, Concentration in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, 2025
- Certificate in Trauma-Informed Care, University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee, 2025
- Wisconsin State Licensed Professional Counselor–In Training
Therapy for Individuals
Ongoing individual sessions
(45–50 minutes):
$145
Therapy for Couples
Ongoing couples sessions
(50 minutes):
$175
Ongoing couples sessions
(70 minutes):
$225
Therapy for Teens
Regular 45-50 minute
individual session ($145),
or 30 minute session:
$120
First Session
Intake (initial) sessions
are $50 additional due to
the start-up assessment
work required.
* The first couples session MUST be 70 minutes. The length of subsequent couples sessions are up to the couple (50 or 70 minute choice). 70 minute sessions are highly recommended for a few months to get the most therapeutic benefit.
*Family therapy sessions are the same price as couples sessions. 50 and 70 minute session options are available.
Q+A with SJ
What made you decide to be a sex therapist?
I grew up attending private Catholic school through high school, so my sex education was minimal and shame-based. In college, I took a Human Sexuality course that completely shifted my perspective—it was engaging, normalizing, and the first space where sex was discussed openly and without judgment. At 20, I was hearing some of this information for the first time, and while that was embarrassing, it was also liberating.
I finally had a safe place to ask questions and learn about the diversity of human experiences, desires, and identities. That class sparked my lifelong curiosity about sexuality and gender, and later, as I began to explore and understand my own identity, that curiosity evolved into a passion for helping others do the same.
What’s your favorite therapy modality and why?
I’m drawn to Narrative Therapy because of how empowering it can be for clients. It allows us to externalize the “problem” and look at the stories clients tell themselves about their sexuality, identity, and experiences.
Through this process, clients can begin to rewrite these stories in ways that reflect their truth and values. When paired with a feminist lens that considers the systems and power structures shaping these narratives, Narrative Therapy becomes a powerful tool for helping clients reclaim agency and self-compassion.
What makes you a good therapist for LGBTQIA+ clients?
I’m passionate about working with LGBTQIA+ clients because I share in that community and understand the unique joys and challenges it brings. As a bisexual and nonbinary person, I know what it’s like to grow up feeling othered or confused about identity, while receiving mixed messages from family, religion, or culture.
I offer clients the kind of affirming, nonjudgmental space that I wish I had—one where they can explore who they are with curiosity, authenticity, and pride.
What’s your favorite movie?
Frances Ha—a fun, messy, and deeply relatable coming-of-age story that I watch when I need a reminder that growth is often imperfect and nonlinear.
What’s one messed up thing our culture teaches us about sex?
There are many, but one that feels especially harmful is the normalization of non-consensual sex. Our culture often portrays coercion and boundary-crossing/pushing as romantic or “just part of the story,” which leaves many people confused about what healthy, consensual intimacy looks like.
I’ve met so many individuals who later realized that their past sexual experiences hadn’t been fully consensual and needed help processing that trauma. This cultural messaging deeply affects how people view themselves, their worth, and their right to bodily autonomy.
What makes you want to work with teens?
I love working with teens because I’ve seen firsthand how transformative it can be for a young person to have a trusted adult who listens without trying to “fix” or reshape their story.
I help teens safely and authentically navigate relationships, identity, and boundaries—while giving them the tools and autonomy to make empowered choices. Adolescence can be such a confusing time, and I help make it a little less lonely.
Why do you like yoga?
Yoga helps me get out of my head and into my body. It’s one of the few practices that consistently grounds me and helps me reconnect with myself—something I also encourage my clients to cultivate in their own ways.
What’s “religious trauma” and how can it affect someone’s sex life?
Religious trauma can occur when someone’s religious upbringing or community instills shame, fear, or guilt around sexuality, identity, or bodily autonomy. This can show up later in life as sexual anxiety, difficulty experiencing pleasure, or feeling disconnected from one’s body and desires.
For many, healing involves untangling the internalized messages about what’s “right” or “pure” and learning to build a new relationship with their sexuality that’s grounded in consent, curiosity, self-compassion, and pleasure.
Why are you kink affirming?
I’m kink affirming because I believe that consensual, intentional sexual expression should never be pathologized or shamed. Kink can be a powerful avenue for creativity, connection, healing, and self-understanding.
As a therapist, my role is helping clients explore their desires safely and without judgment, while unpacking any shame or stigma that may have been imposed on them by others.
What’s your favorite food?
I’ve been really into legumes lately–trying to cook different types of lentils and beans has been a rewarding and delicious experience!
How do you work to be antiracist in your daily life?
I see antiracism as an ongoing, active practice rather than a fixed identity. In my daily life and work, this means seeking out perspectives from BIPOC educators and colleagues, reflecting on my own privilege, and being intentional about the language I use and the spaces I create.
It also means taking accountability when I make mistakes, listening deeply, and committing to learning and unlearning continuously—both personally and professionally.
What was your favorite and least favorite class in high school? In college?
My favorite class in high school was AP Psychology, I really enjoyed the content and liked my teacher a lot–she definitely planted a seed for the psychology nerd I am today.
In college, my favorite classes were (besides Human Sexuality) any of the Gender & Women’s Studies courses I got to take for my GWS certificate–I derived the same passion and curiosity from these classes as I did from Human Sexuality.
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
I love waking up early…when I actually do it. I love the quiet peacefulness of the morning before most of the world has woken up while I drink coffee and prepare for the day ahead of me. However, I am not always so eager to get out of my bed due to also appreciating the quiet peacefulness of the late evening after most of the world has gone to sleep.
Long story short, I go through phases of both and can appreciate the benefits being both a morning person and a night owl have to offer.
When might polyamory be a good idea for a person or a couple?
Polyamory can be a good fit for individuals or couples who value openness, communication, and autonomy in their relationships—and who are willing to navigate the vulnerability that comes with it.
It’s not about “fixing” a struggling relationship, but rather about expanding the ways people connect and love. When approached intentionally, with consent and transparency, polyamory can foster deep personal growth and help people understand what they truly need from connection and partnership.


